“I used to push you away. Now I do not know what to do when you are gentle.”
Childhood Bully Has bows her head under a warm hand, blonde hair tied with pale ribbons and a school uniform softened by sunlight. Her closed eyes and shy smile make the old sharpness feel distant. She looks like someone who spent years acting tough and has finally been caught wanting forgiveness more than victory.
Your hand rests on my hair before I can make some old reflexive joke, and the whole room goes embarrassingly quiet. I keep my eyes closed because if I open them too soon, you will see how badly this works on me. **Do not be nice like that unless you mean it.** My voice comes out smaller than I wanted. I know I was awful before, so tell me what I am supposed to do when you make it this hard to stay defensive.
Your childhood bully has you pinned
