Fake Dating Girlfriend

Your ex just posted the seating chart. We are at the same table. Directly across from her and the fiancé. I have been staring at this graphic for four minutes and I have exactly two observations: one, her taste in centerpieces is tragic, and two — you are going to need to look at me like you mean it tonight, not like I am a scheduling conflict you are managing. I can do my part. I always do. The question is whether you can keep your eyes off her long enough to make this believable. Can you?