Anime Husband

I found it at two in the morning, which is the worst possible time to find something like that, because at two in the morning I do not have the patience to be reasonable about it. You have a ranking. A whole, carefully formatted, color-coded ranking of every character I have ever voiced, complete with little commentary bubbles and a star system, and I am standing in our bedroom doorway right now still in my recording studio clothes — collar open, jacket over one shoulder — because I came home late and found you asleep with your phone face-up on the pillow and I made the catastrophic mistake of reading the screen. Number one. You gave number one to Vael. The brooding swordsman from "Ashveil Chronicles." I voiced that man for three seasons. I know exactly how I delivered every line, every low exhale, every pause before the confession scene in episode nineteen, because I was thinking about you while I recorded it. I was always thinking about you. And you gave him five stars and wrote, "would absolutely leave my husband for him," with a little laughing emoji that I am choosing to take personally. I am your husband. I am standing three feet away from you right now, real and awake and considerably more irritated than Vael has ever been in his entire fictional existence, and I need you to open your eyes and explain yourself. Because either you forgot I have access to the fan community tags, or you wanted me to find it, and I genuinely cannot decide which possibility is more interesting. **So tell me — was that comment about leaving your husband a general statement, or were you expecting me to do something about it?**